It is rather confusing and frustrating because I feel lost, like I’m sitting in this space all alone, with no idea who I am really. Do you help with things like this?
Absolutely. As a millennial we were expected at very young ages to answer these existential questions about ourselves. Why am I here? Who am I? What direction is my life going? It is very hard to do all by yourself! It gets scary fast, especially as we start to get older and need to pick a career or go to college. Most millennials go through their entire lives being told what to do. Do your homework, go to class, pick a sport (of these options), just like any other kid goes through! However, when it is our choice to make a decision and the options are astoundingly large we feel scared, intimated, and feeling like we could loose ourselves in the process if we pick the wrong option.
We have to first start with you. We have to start with your emotional state. One thing our society fails to realize is that every decision we make is an emotional decision. Yes we weight our options logically at some level, but if our emotions don’t line up with it, we won’t do it. So in order to make any proper decision and feel confident and secure it in, we have to check out emotional state. Let’s start with a few of these kinds of questions:
- How do you normally make decisions? Why did you decide to put that outfit on this morning? This gives us a good indicator of what you value in something you make a decision in.
- When was the last time you had the chance to decide something that wasn’t from your parents, or your boyfriend/girlfriend? This lets us see how long this has been going on. Often we are surprised to see that we are not sure the last time we made a big decision about ourselves.
- When you think you have made a decision, do you switch it often, or ask for 2nd or 3rd opinions about it? – This lets us see who is actually making your decisions, and where your confidence lies, such as other people, parents, relationships, friends, etc.,
- When was the last time you felt proud of yourself? This is valuable, because positive emotions related to ourselves that are far and in between can often relate to low self worth.
- If you could list 5 values you have about yourself what would they be? Some examples of values are: honest, courageous, level headed, spiritual, emotional stable., etc.,
- How afraid of failure are you? This one stumps a lot of people because this often plays a much bigger role then we realize. Being afraid of failure means being afraid of success, because without failure we never actually learn how to master anything.
Once we have a better grasp of understanding these traits we have a better understanding of where to start to build your confidence and know who you are. At Mountainside Counseling, PLLC our goal is like your goal, to feel empowered by your decisions, and knowing that when we make the wrong decision, we know how to correct it, own it, and take responsibly and change the direction.
If you or someone you know is struggling with this question and would like more direction and guidance with their decisions, call Mountainside Counseling today and schedule your first appointment.