Adult Children of Parents with Personality Disorders

  • Are you struggling to hold a relationship with a parent
  • Are you feeling like you are loved  one minute then hated the next?
  • Do you have a hard time trusting people in general?
  • When you talk to people do you feel that they have a hidden agenda against you?
  • Are you thinking about if you are doing the right thing all the time?
  • Are you worried you will get yelled at or in trouble for making a decision for yourself?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, it may be time to speak with someone. 

Mountainside Counseling can provide clarity and guidance when dealing with a parent who may have a personality disorder, or have very low emotional maturity levels.

Abuse is often referred to behavior that is designed to control another person using their power through the use of manipulation, fear, intimidation, guilt, or shame emotional abuse can include verbal attacks, constant criticism, contempt, or constant attack on ones identity.

People who have endured these horrors often struggle of feelings of anxiety, chest pains, feeling as though they are walking on egg shells constantly, and fear of doing something wrong. Having a therapist that truly understands the dynamics of a parent with personality disorders can be very validating.

The benefits of coming into counseling for adults who have parents with personality disorders or emotionally strained relationships:

Financial: We will look at ways to no longer be financially attached anymore to the people who are hurting you the most. This not only can empower you, but strengthen the relationships you have with other people in your life.
Emotional: Being able to set strong boundaries for yourself and knowing the kind of relationship you would like to have with your parents or guardians going forward as an adult, not as as child still dependent on them. It is not your job to take care of anyone else emotionally. Don’t know how to do that? Let us help guide you.
Physical: Depending on your level of insecurity and possible trauma EMDR may be something we need to do. This can help your brain release a lot of the pain that has been replaying in your head. It can help with other somatic symptoms related to anxiety and fear as well such as: headaches, stomach aches, shoulder pain, and other areas where you may hold tension.
Spiritual: Being able to be more connected to yourself is imperative too connecting to other people on an empathetic and compassion level. It will be important for us to better understand your boundaries and what you are okay with and not okay with so we can feel more strongly connected to the people who rejuvenate us.

What You Can Expect

When dealing with parents like this, everyone has a unique story. With that said, there are a variety of different techniques used to help deal with anxiety, depression, and other outcomes you may be feeling having a parent with a personality disorder. Treatment will depend on the individual, but the counseling process starts with feeling safe in your therapeutic relationship.

Psychological safety and physical safety must first be established before healing can begin. Laura starts with slow steps to deal with the emotional pain those memories bring. The goal is to assist in reducing symptoms related to the harmful emotions associated with the memories. The process starts by recognizing the past, and moving towards feeling free from the emotional turmoil and confusion that is often left as an adult wanting a loving relationship with a parent.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), Narrative Therapy, and EMDR, are often used when dealing with these challenges.

If you or someone you know who is having a difficult relationship with their parents as an adult call Mountainside Counseling today to set up your first appointment!

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