How do I know I am going through this break up well?

What a great question! One of the things that we often never get taught to learn how to do is mourn. A break up, a loss of a friend, even a death all encompass a process of mourning. One of the things that is super important when dealing with a loss is self-awareness. This seems like it would make a lot of sense right? However, we are not taught anywhere in our lives how to have this sense of self-awareness. We are expected to pick ourselves up by our bootstraps and get over it. Which is a terrible and lonely way to deal with something, especially when you already feel that way!

We first have to help navigate your breakup, then learn and understand how you mourn. This is a loss, this is something that is over, therefore we need to mourn it and mourn it properly. A lot of times when dealing with a break up I see patterns that are incredibly unhealthy.

The most common one I see is the severely codependent, and denial that the relationship is over. So much so that their entire identity was tied to this relationship and they have no idea who they are and how to move on. This is where “friends with benefits” often happens, and then they are later emotionally destroyed by when the
partner who broke up with them dates someone else, or ghosts them.

Are you going through your break up properly? Well, lets find out! Can you answer any of these questions about yourself?

  1. When I mourn the first emotion I have is ____________.
  2. I know that I will feel my next emotion about this far along into my grief _________
  3.  I will often act this way towards others around me _____________.
  4.  I will blame myself for about this long ___________.
  5. I will hit anger around this point ________.
  6. I will bargain for _____________ this amount of time.
  7. I will carry this emotional baggage into my next relationship by ______________.
  8. I start to tell people my sadness around this time _________.
  9. I ask for support when dealing with these things right away/never/months later, etc.
  10.  I start to fully accept my grief and learn how to manage my sadness in a healthy
    way about this far along______.

Now you may not have a solid idea about all of these answers depending on the death or loss. However you would have a generally strong idea the answer to most of these questions. If you don’t this is worth processing your grief with a professional.

Contact me below to help us get through your break up better!

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